It Must be Genetic

Given how cool our last guest was, I was really excited to hear that my person's sister was coming to visit. Not only is she not a grad student, she lived in Japan for six months. She even said she'd cook Japanese food for us. How cool is that?!

Her visit started off pretty promising. They all went to a Tiki bar in N. Hollywood and stayed out until like 2 in the morning. Even though I didn't get to go, at least my person finally went out on the town in L.A. The next day was pretty quiet. Which was fine because someone needed to scratch my ears and I wasn't about to let TGWWGA do it. But things started to go downhill after that. On Monday, they did go get drinks at a swanky bar in town but before that they went to a garden. A very educational garden that had lots of cactuses and stuff. What is it with these people and going to educational parks? They already know how to open a tuna can. What else could there possibly be to learn? Especially about cactus!

They said they were going shopping the next day which got my hopes up, but did they shop for something cool? Oh no. They went to used bookstores. That's right. More than one. Just what my person needs: more books. >< My person and TGWWGA took her out to karaoke that day, too, but they manged to find they only one that didn't serve alcohol. They said they had a good time, but I'm pretty sure that cool people aren't sober when they're singing karaoke.

Her last day here, they decided to go the beach. Finally! A normal California thing to do. They even took their bathing suits with them. Turns out, though, that the real reason they went to Laguna Beach was to go to an art exhibit about that World of Warcraft game they're always playing. They did go walk along the beach, but they didn't even put on their suits. I can understand not wanting to get wet, but it was a beautiful, sunny California day at the beach and they spent most of it at an art museum! How much dorkier can you get? My person wanted me to post a WoW picture to go along with this entry, but I'm not gonna. Someone has to draw the line.

My person's parents are coming to visit next week but seeing how both of their children are dorks, they probably are too. *rolls eyes*

Finally!

So this happened quite a few weeks ago, but it is probably the least dorky thing my person has done the entire time we've lived here and I'm going to blog about it even if it has been awhile.

Back in June, a friend of my person's came to visit us. I remember her from Ohio, but after she got done with school she moved to Chicago. Chicago! The lights! The music! The nightlife! This already made her pretty cool in my book. My person, like the total dork she is, wanted to hang out around here. Here is pretty cool and everything, much better than Ohio, but my person's friend (who is named Emily, btw) realized that we were only an hour a way from L.A. and insisted that they spend some time in the city. I've been saying that for months but my person finally listened to reason and agreed to Emily's plan. Yay!

They spent the first day going to shops on Melrose and Sunset Blvds. My person didn't buy anything but that's ok because she actually went to Melrose and Sunset! So cool! A few days later they drove around Beverly Hills and Belle Aire and even went to Rodeo Drive. They didn't do any shopping, though, partly because TTGWWGA was with them and he doesn't like shopping. Emily had never seen the ocean before, so they also went to the beach which isn't nearly as cool. I know it's Southern California and that's a big thing to do here, but I don't really get what's such a big deal about a lot sand and water. I've got sand in my litter box and it smells funny and the less said about large bodies of water the better.

They wrapped things up by going to a live show in downtown LA. Emily picked the band out. I hadn't heard of it before, but she played me some of her music while she was here and it was all pretty cool. Way better than the stuff my person listens to.

After Emily left, my person hasn't gone to the city again (big surprise) but apparently she's meeting some of her (apparently much cooler) grad school friends downtown for dinner and drinks next week. Maybe there's hope for her yet.

Oops!

I forgot to include this pic in my post yesterday. I must still be getting over being abandoned. QQ

Anyway, my Mommy's Mommy is a very talented artist and she drew this picture (there's a bigger one below) to decorate the Children's Room at the library she works at. Normally I'm scared of dragons, but this seems like a nice dragon. Come to think of it, he looks a bit scared himself. Cool! I have something in common with a dragon! I wonder if he likes having his tummy rubbed too? It's time for my second afternoon nap! ttyl!

She Left Me!

Even the Monster left me! Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing.... But, still! Mommy left me! She did come back. Eventually. Doesn't matter. I was left all alone! Except for Dante and Spanky. But they don't scratch my ears and they're not Mommy! *pouts*

Deep breath. Start at the beginning.

The Monster's brother was getting married (Monster's have brothers?!?) and so he went back to Michigan where we used to live for the wedding. It was just us and Mommy. Yay! I got lots of cuddles and snuggles and sitting on the Monster's chair (I'm a brave kitty!). Then Mommy left for work and didn't come home for four whole days! Apparently, she had to leave right from work to catch her plane. But why didn't she take me with her? Oh right. I don't like things that go "whoosh" and Mommy says planes do that. Well, why couldn't she stay, then? Monsters' brothers' wedding can't be better than me, right? ;-(

Mommy says the wedding was lovely and the bride and the groom were very happy. Which is good I guess. My Mommy looked pretty awesome, too. That's a picture of her with the Monster's sister (Monster's have sisters too?!?). She looks nice. Definitely not scary like the Monster. Mommy says the Monster looked very handsome all dressed up for the wedding but I'm not going to post any pictures of him because I'm not that brave of a kitty. Mommy also got to see her family and sleep in her old room. Which is also nice but it would've been much nicer if I was there to frolic and get cat hair all over things and meow randomly. It sounds like her family is going to come visit us in California soon. Maybe we could work out a deal where they stay here and we send the Monster back there?

The Wedding Party

I am Most Certainly Not Domesticated

It has recently come to my attention that a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences* claims that not only are cats lazy, they domesticated themselves. Rubbish!

Firstly, cats are not lazy. It is a testament to our brilliance and our skill that our actions look effortless. Furthermore, rushing hither and thither is not only unnecessarily tiring, it is rarely effective. Far better results are achieved from choosing tasks wisely and then taking one's time to complete them. Humans could stand to learn a thing or two from cats. Which brings me to my second point.

Secondly, cats did not domesticate themselves. I would argue that cats should not even be considered as a domesticated species. Horses, cows, chickens, and even dogs are domesticated animals. It is sheer foolishness to put felines in the same group with such creatures for reasons that should be obvious. But the real insult is that we would willing put ourselves in such company! According to the study, many thousands of years ago cats noticed that human settlements made excellent hunting grounds and so adapted themselves to living alongside humans. Given how messy humans are, it is no surprise that my forebears realized that this was too good of an opportunity to let pass. Certain physical adjustments were also likely necessary to hunt in an urban environment. Why large cats such as tigers and panthers are a wonder to behold and a testament too our species, they are a bit to big to hunt successfully in the tight places favored by rodents in man-made structures. This, however, does not constitute domestication but a well-planned, comprehensive strategy to take advantage of situation.

Quite frankly, if anyone has been domesticated it is the humans themselves. We have managed to create a partnership in which the humans provide us with food and shelter and in return we grace their homes with our presence. I enjoy hunting for my supper as much as the next cat, but when the weather is disagreeable I also enjoy watching the humans brave the elements to aquire my kibble while I sit warm and dry indoors. Perhaps the human scientists were also aware of this and their study is an attempt to obscure the true nature of the relationship and increase their own sense of worthiness.

*This link will take you to the New York Times' response to this study. My scientifically inclined readers will find a link the study itself there as well.

Long time, no see

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I wanted to, but my person and TGWWGA didn't do anything interesting in, like, forever. Srsly! All my person did was sit at her desk and work. I did get to sleep on some of her students' essays which is exciting for me but probably not exciting for you all to read about. I'm not sure what TGWWGA did because I didn't really pay attention but it probably involved more of his dorky hobbies or something.

Anyway, since my person has finally gotten done with school, lots of stuff has been happening. Like her getting another job (with essays to sleep on!), her friend coming to visit, and everyone going sightseeing. I know, I know. They've been here for a year and they're finally exploring. *rolls eyes* At least you don't have to live with them.

There should be lots of updates with pictures and stuff soon. I think Spanky is even going to talk about news that's important to cats. Sounds pretty boring to me, but maybe if he tells you guys he won't tell me.

Joshua Tree

My feline companions and I originally wrote this article for publication in an online newsletter. The plan was to wait until it had been published there before posting it here as there is some overlap in the readership. Unfortunatly, the publication date of the article is now uncertain so we have decided to post it here.

Joshua Tree National Park

Spanky: As it is my understanding that our previous article about a national park was well received by our readers, my fellow felines and I have decided to write another installment.

Edmund: What did he say?

Dante: He said that people liked our article.

Edmund: They did?!? Yay! *frolics*

Spanky: Ahem. As I was saying, for this article we’ve decided to write about a park near our new home. I am, of course, referring to Joshua Tree National Park located in Southern California.

Edmund: Except there weren’t any trees there! Why is it called Joshua Tree National Park if there aren’t any trees?

Spanky: Excellent question, my young friend. Allow me to explain. The Joshua Tree is a giant member of the lily family more commonly known as a yucca. As you can see from the picture, it resembles a kind of spindly cactus. Mormon settlers named the tree after the prophet Joshua because its limbs seem to reach upward in prayer.

Edmund: So, not a tree?

Dante: Nope. More like a spiky plant thing.

Spanky: The park contains portions of two deserts—the Sonoran and the Mojave—as well as The Little San Bernardino Mountains.

Dante: Only humans would think it was a good idea to go walk around some place with no water and that’s covered with plants that grow their own weapons.

Spanky: As we’ve discussed before, such trips hold much educational value.

Dante: Right. Value.

Spanky: Moving on. The park also contains numerous rock outcroppings that appear to have been piled up by absent-minded giants.

Edmund: There are giants in Southern California?!

Spanky: No, my dear boy. I was speaking metaphorically.

Dante: He doesn’t know what a metaphor is.

Edmund: Is it cat food?

Spanky: No, it’s not cat food. It’s just a…. never mind what it is. There aren’t any giants in Southern California or anywhere else.

Edmund: Yay! *frolics*

Spanky: The rock formations were created by the weathering of large deposits of metamorphic rock, granite and gneiss (pronounced “nice”) to be precise. This process is still ongoing as water works it way into minute fractures in the outcroppings slowly eroding its surroundings.

Edmund: You’re sure they’re not giants’ toys?

Spanky: Completely certain.

Dante: If you are not crazy enough to want to go walk around in a desert, here is a link to the park’s website.

Spanky: How considerate of you, Dante.

Dante: Whatever.

Spanky: Humph! When I was a kitten, I was expected to thank people when they complimented me.

Edmund: Guys! She said she won’t let us do this again if you two fight!

Spanky: Very well, then. I hope everyone has enjoyed learning about Joshua Tree National Park. We look forward to presenting for you all again.

The Return of the Dorky King

I know I blog about my people's dorkiness a lot, but that's because they keep doing dorky stuff! This is a picture of Edmund with TGWWGA's World of Warcraft character as an action figure. Apparently my person's family bought this for him as a gift! Why?!?! Does he really need to be anymore dorky? *sighs* Anyway, he was ridiculously excited about it. It's kind of cool. I guess. In a totally-still-dorky way.

My person isn't any better. Remember how relieved I was when she dropped that speculative fiction class? Well, now she's gone and enrolled in an actual science-fiction class. This is not an improvement. Not only is she reading SF novels, she's reading what other people have written about SF and going to optional lectures at school about SF. I don't know which is worse: the SF part or the optional school part. This is worse when they stayed inside and watched Battlestar Galactica. It's like all of her dork hobbies are feeding off each other or something.

I think I'm going to go take a nice long nap. Maybe things will be better when I wake up.

I Am All Worn Out

Oh wow! It's been awhile since I posted We've been super-busy the last few weeks. First, Mommy had to finish her classes for the quarter. There were books and papers everywhere! My favorite thing to do is sleep on student essays. Mommy is trying to teach me to sleep on only the good essays to make her grading go faster. But if it goes faster, what will I sleep on?

While I was helping Mommy hold down her books, the Monster's dad came to visit us. Two monsters! At the same time! O.o I hid under the bed. The only time I got to eat any dinner was when they all went out. Lucky for me, they went to lots of different places. I think they told Spanky about what they did but I'm not sure because I was back underneath the bed. The Monster's Dad tried to get me to come out so he could scratch my ears, but I was too smart to fall for that. Sneaky Monster's Dad....

After the Monster's Dad left, I spent lots of time following Mommy around and frolicking. Then her new quarter started and another, more different Monster came to stay with us. Dante checked him out and said that the new Monster is thinking about coming to school here and needed a place to stay while he looked at Mommy's school. Since this was only a temporary Monster, I decided I should be brave and go investigate him. First, I stood in the doorway (so I could run away quickly). Then, I stood next to the door. Then, I ran back and stood in the doorway again. Then, I hid behind Mommy. Then I stood under the desk. I had almost reached the new Monster when I remembered that Monsters are tricky! So I ran and hid under the bed. But I was still a very brave kitty!

Also, we have ants. I think they're fun to watch but Mommy does seem to be having as much fun as me. :/

O Happy Day!

The Monster won't be home everyday anymore because he got a job! I have been frolicking all over the house since I heard the news. Now it will just me and Mommy and Dante (and Spanky) here during the day. Except for when Mommy has to go to school than it will just be us kitties.... :(

But no Monster! :D

Mommy says that the Monster is going to be working with people who have special needs. I didn't know they needed Monsters for that type of thing. What do you think he does? Maybe he scares away other monsters? He got the job offer a few days ago but he had to pass a TB test and a background test for it to be official. I'm not sure what those tests do but they must not test for monsterness because he passed.

Mommy is almost done with her quarter and then the Monster's dad is going to visit us. Monsters have dads?!?!

Sigh

I was hoping that my person had gotten a little less dorky cause she told me that she had decided not to take the sci-fi class and take a class about a writer named James Joyce. I wasn't sure that was much of an improvement but apparently the book she's reading for it was inspired by a really awesome party. So awesome, it woke the dead! I'm hoping that if she reads about parties, she'll finally let me throw one.

I think it's going to take more than a book about a party to help her, though. She and TGWWGA have spent every Friday night glued to the television watching Battlestar Galactica. That's right. They are staying in on a Friday night to watch a show that has spaceships AND robots. *rolls eyes* As if that wasn't bad enough, TGWWGA is getting dorkier too! I didn't think that was even possible but he spent all of Valentine's Day weekend at some sort of gaming convention. There are apparently lots of humans who like to spend their time making armies out of little plastic figures so that they can go "fight" other people's plastic armies. When TGWWGA won all his games, do you know what they did? They didn't tell him to get a life or a less dorky hobby. Oh no. They rewarded him! They gave him a certificate that said he was the best general and they gave him prizes! Gagh! What is wrong with these people?!?!

There's just no hope for them, is there?

Happy Birthday to Me!

February 10th was my birthday! I am now 4 years old! That makes me a big kitty! Mommy says it was also the Monster's birthday so I had to share my cake with him. I didn't know Monster's ate cake....

I got a new toy for my birthday and Dante and I had lots of fun playing with it on the stairs. We tried to get Mommy to play with us but she said something about not tripping people at the top of the stairs. The Monster is also getting a toy from Mommy and the Two Nice Ladies Who Scratch My Ears. I asked Spanky what kind of toy and he said it was a model of the Monster's World of Warcraft character. When I asked Spanky what a "World of Warcraft" was he just rolled his eyes and said it was "the time sink of the gods."

Cake and toys! Next the Monster will want some of my food! O.o

Do you think I could play with the Monster's toy when he's not looking?

Freedom!

As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, I spent most of my formative years with humans that did not subscribe to the foolish notion that cats are best confined indoors and I was able to come and go as a pleased. I had just about given up hope of ever persuading Jennifer of the error of her ways when, just this last week, I discovered that the front door had been left ajar. The weather has been quite lovely here the past few weeks and I pounced on the opportunity to explore our natural surroundings.

I spent several wonderful moments enjoying the feel of sunshine on my whiskers and grass beneath my paws. I almost felt like a kitten again!

And then I spotted Jennifer coming towards me. I tried to lose her by dashing through a bush but to no avail. She captured me and brought me back inside where I have remained despite my repeated (and very vocal, I might add) requests to be let outside. I've concluded that Jason must have taken pity on me in my captivity and provided me with a means of escape. I can only hope that circumstances will permit him to assist me again.

The Ground! It Moved!

Right in the middle of my evening nap we had an earthquake! Mommy says she thought the neighbors were moving furniture until she felt her chair move. It felt like a truck drove by the house and then there was big WHUMP! and it felt like the floor moved up and then down. I was super-scared when it happened but everyone is okay now. Spanky didn't like the ground moving either but he didn't hide under the bed with me. Mommy and the Monster seemed more excited than scared but I stayed under the bed until I was sure the ground had stopped moving. There was an aftershock about an hour later but it was over too fast for me to get under the bed again.

I like being a California kitty when there is Christmas on the beach but I'm not so sure I like it when there are earthquakes. Ground is supposed to stay still! How am I supposed to sleep on it if it moves around?

If you are brave enough to read about earthquakes, click here.

Witajcie!

Welcome Polish readers!

It has recently come to my attention that an acquaintance of Jennifer's (who has commented on this blog previously) used "To Say Nothing of the Cat" as a reference to aid her own felines in a move of some distance. Jennifer tells me that the felines (and their humans) in question live in Poland. I had no idea we had such a far-flung readership! Although this is flattering in itself, I am pleased to hear that our musings about our journey were helpful to others. I can only hope that their humans did not engage in the same deceitfulness that Jennifer did during our journey. Judging from the two Polish felines previous comments, it seems that they have had some experience with "Valium." As their statements were generally positive, I must conclude that their human actually arranged for them to travel via a Valium and did not engage in the misleading tactics employed by Jennifer.

But I digress, I hope that my Polish readers (both feline and human) are settling in their new home and enjoying the sights and sounds of their new city.

First Day of School

So my person started her Winter quarter today and she appears to have reached new depths of dorkiness. She tells me that she's taking a class on cyberculture AND one on speculative fiction (which I think is just an academic way of saying sci-fi). Srsly? She might as well get a shirt that says she's a dork.

I just remembered that she already does have a shirt that says "Geek is Chic." *rolls eyes*

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like her and everything but would it kill her to be, you know, normal once and awhile? She apparently even tells her students that she plays World of Warcraft! According to her, her students love it when she does that. Maybe the problem is that all humans are dorks.

She seems to be excited about her new classes and says that her students are pretty cool, so that's good I guess. She's teaching the same class she taught last quarter which means that she'll have more time to scratch my ears since she has less lesson planning to do. Perhaps I can sleep on her dorky books and she'll be forced to do something cool instead of reading. Like making me tuna. Or cream. Or maybe tuna and cream! Alright, gotta go pester her about that now.

l8r!