Sunday, February 26, 2012

Worst Super Bowl Party Ever

On Super Bowl Sunday, normal people get together to watch the game. My person, like usual, didn’t do what normal people do. She did go over to a friends’ house and it was even during the Super Bowl. There were other people there and snacks and beer and a television with the game on. I was totally hoping my person would not be a nerd for an afternoon. But no. Do you know what my person and her friends did instead of watching the game? The learned sword fighting. That’s right. They learned how to do something that no one’s needed to be able to do in like forever. Lame.


It gets worse. My person is the one who taught everyone else how to use a sword. I guess the swords on the wall downstairs aren’t just to look at.

Before I came to live with my person and TGWWGA, before I was even born, my person was in a sword fighting club in college. That’s right, there was a whole group of these people and they somehow managed to find each other. Spanky says I have to tell you that my person was in a “theatrical combat troupe.” What kind of dorky word is “troupe”?! Anyway, that means that they used real swords, not toy ones, but they weren’t sharp or anything. The people also couldn’t hit each other because “that wouldn’t be safe.” *rolls eyes* Seriously, if you’re going to use a sword at least hit someone with it!

But back to the Super Bowl. I’d met my person’s friend, Tom, before and he seemed like a pretty cool guy. Well, as cool as one of my person’s friends is going to be. I thought he might be a good influence on my person. But no. He’s total nerd, too. So much of a nerd that his wife got him a sword for his birthday.


When he told my person about it, she got all excited. Because if anyone was going to think her friend getting a sword was “really awesome” and not really weird, it would be my person.

So, instead of watching the Super Bowl like normal people, they all went out on the lawn and practiced with swords.


One of my person’s friends is learning to sword fight in heels. Which is pretty cool, I guess. Cool for people with swords. More importantly, why did they let my person have the sharp sword in this picture? She injures herself on her desk chair! If she cut off her hand with a sword, how would she feed me and rub my tummy? People should think about these things!

I wasn’t there to tell them that, though, so they kept going. Here’s my person and her friend, Tom, practicing a sword fight. My person was showing him how to fight with a sword in one hand and a dagger in the other.


Huh. They actually look kind of fierce. Never thought that would happen.

It did get kind of cool at the end. Tom cut a pumpkin in half in midair! This is actually awesome enough to deserve video!

How cool is that?!


It kind of looks like brains in there! Pumpkin-colored brains but still pretty awesome.

I guess as far as nerdy stuff my person has done, this is okay. I still wish she’d be normal more often, but I can see why she likes swords. They are pretty cool.


Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Monster is broken!!!!


The Monster has been sort of broken for awhile because he hurt his back really bad. The doctor says he's not allowed to lift heavy things which includes me (but not Spanky). Which is fine with me because I don't want him to pick me up.

After Mommy and the Monster came back from their trip home for Christmas (they left me! I was sad!), the Monster had a cold. One one paw, it's nice when he has a cold because he's not as scary when he sleeps all the time. On the other paw, he doesn't leave very much when he's sick so I have to be extra careful that he doesn't see me. Spanky likes it when the Monster is sick cause he says the Monster makes a great bed for sleeping on. The Monster is warm and I like warm things, but I do not like Monsters! He could wake up when I was sleeping on him and then he would get me! Very scary! O.o

Mommy was sick too, which was sad, but she got better and in the meantime I got lots of snuggles and ear scratchies. So it was only sort of sad that she was sick. But the Monster didn't get all better like Mommy did, probably because he's a Monster. He ended up with a sinus infection AND con... conjun.... conjunct.... I can't write it! It's too hard! It means his eyes got all red and they itched. Since the Monster's eyes were all ucky, he couldn't see as good as he usually he can. I was able to sneak by him lots of times! I even got really close to him yesterday and he didn't see me. I'm a brave kitty! :D

Mommy didn't want to catch the Monster's germs so she had to wash all the things the Monster touched. I don't know why she doesn't do that all the time. The Monster is probably full of germs. He IS a monster and everyone knows that monsters can make you sick. That's one of the reasons they're so scary. Well, that and their claws and their teeth and their general scariness. Anyway, Mommy washed all the sheets and towels and blankets every day. It was a lot of work to wash all that stuff, but I helped her. I sat on the bed when she changed the sheets and grabbed the corners when she was folding them and crawled inside the blankets so make sure they were nice and warm. I'm even rolled around in the clean laundry so it would be nice and fluffy. I'm such a good kitty. :D


Spanky was busy keeping an eye on the Monster. The Monster wasn't supposed to touch his eyes because they were sick so Spanky had to meow at him when he forgot. He forgot a lot.


Spanky was also grumpy because when Mommy was washing all the things the Monster had touched, she thought about washing Spanky. She decided not to but he was still mad at her just for thinking about it. Silly, Mommy. Spanky's already covered in Monster germs, a couple more won't matter. I never let the Monster get close enough to touch me so I never need a bath. I'm smart like that.


See? Aren't I good hider!

Dante says the Monster won't be broken forever so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Oooo! Maybe I could sneeze on his pillow and he'll get sick again. Maybe I could get Dante to sneeze on it too...