To Say Nothing of the Cat

The Return of the Plum Pudding

2012-01-13T18:09:00.000-08:00

Editor's Note: Today's entry is a guest post by Watson who lives with Jennifer's parents in Michigan. The cats have agreed to this only on the condition that they did not have to personally associate with a dog.

Good day,

Watson here. I am a canine companion to Jennifer’s mother and father and share my lodgings with Sherlock, a rather eccentric and excitable fellow. Before I took up residence with Harry and Bethanie, I served Her Majesty in various uncomfortable and distant parts of the Empire such as Afghanistan and Flint. These days I get quite enough excitement listening to Sherlock bark at everything imaginable and some things which are unimaginable (such as phantoms and other superstitious nonsense). Sherlock is the perfect example of a canine of whom it can be said that, “his bark is worse than his bite.” I am very proud that such a thing can never be said of me. To give you a further idea of his personality, I've included the following photograph. Here, Sherlock is "investigating" the family's baking plans.

Jennifer recently came home for a holiday visit. As a physician, I was pleased to observe no deleterious effects from her recent association with feline companions. I was particularly pleased that we had a few days of her company before Jason joined us. When I first met Jason, several years ago, I expressed my opinion of his (lack of) suitability quite forcefully. I have since become resigned to his presence because Jennifer is fond of him and she is a somewhat headstrong Irish lass. She would not take it well if I were to detach any more pieces from Jason.

While Jennifer was staying with us, she and Harry made plum pudding following a recipe that has been in Harry’s family for several generations. This is curious because Harry is not at all English and plum pudding is a fine old English Christmas tradition. As I'm sure we're all aware, however, humans do all sorts of strange things and generally are none the worse for it. But I digress. I am given to understand that Jennifer made plum pudding a few years ago and that Spanky, a member of a lesser breed without the law, wrote a description of the process for this blog. While it provides a quite suitable description of the process given it's authorship, I felt that an additional account would be quite beneficial to the readers of the blog.

Things went about the same this time around except that Bethanie knew of a local grocery store where all of the ingredients, including the essential suet, could be found. Jennifer had quite a bit of trouble locating suet in California, but Michigan is much more civilized than California in that respect. As some of our readers might be unfamiliar with this ingredient, I thought it wise to include a picture:

Numerous ingredients are necessary for a proper plum pudding and they must be thoroughly mixed. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how distasteful it would be take a bite of what one believes to be delicious pudding only to discover that a particular morsel consists entirely of raisins or have cherries.

Harry and Jennifer had a bit of a debate over whether the ingredients, specifically the cherries, needed to be chopped. Harry was against it, while Jennifer was for it. Things reached such a state that Jennifer threatened to call Harry's mother. Rather than see either one proved incorrect by this appeal to a higher authority (they are both quite stubborn when it comes to admitting fault), I intervened and suggested a compromise. The cherries were cut in half and the process was finally able to move forward.

After the ingredients were mixed, they were usually steamed using a pudding steamer. It should come as no surprise that individuals with a mixture of Irish, Scottish, and French blood failed to have such a device at hand. Fortunately, Jennifer is English on her mother's side and was able to assemble an ad hoc pudding steamer from materials at hand. It may be inelegant, but it was sufficient for our purposes.

And at last we have the finished pudding! Delightful, isn’t?

We're back! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2012-01-06T14:07:00.001-08:00

It's like the best Christmas present ever!

Mommy finally passed her exams and says we can use the computer again. Yay! I was very sad that we didn't post hardly at all last year 'cause then I didn't have a reason to stand on the keyboard. Even Dante was sad that we didn't get to post. He tried to pretend like he didn't care, but I know better. His ears totally perked up when I told him we were going to blog again. He can't fool me! I'm a smart kitty! Almost as smart as Spanky! :D

So, you're probably wondering what we've been doing all this time. Well, we've been super-busy. The monster started law school so Spanky had to make sure the monster did all his homework. Dante and me helped Mommy with her exams and then helped her grade some essays. Every time she got a pile of essays we'd knock them over and then sleep on top of the best ones. Or maybe it was on top of the worst ones? I forget. Maybe this quarter we should sleep on all the essays just to be safe.

We've also had lots of adventures this year to tell you about! Super-exciting!

First Day of School

2011-08-12T19:28:00.000-07:00

Things have been rather quiet around here of late, but that doesn't mean we don't have big news to share. Some of our readers are undoubtedly already aware; however, I thought it best if I made a more formal announcement. Jason is now attending Southwestern Law School!

I was a bit trepedatious when I first learned that Jason was applying to area law schools as I had become accustomed to the amount of time he and I had spent together of late. In addition to bringing an end to our Star Trek marathons, Jason's returning to school would also mean that I would be in Jennifer's care more often. She has recently decided that Edmund needs to go on a diet, and while I agree that my young friend is quiet portly, for some reason his being on a diet also means I'm on a diet. Despite my repeated protests, Jennifer has gone ahead with her plan to restrict access to our food dishes. The other two have accepted this situation but I remain hopeful that Jennifer will eventually see reason.

Where were we? Oh, yes, law school. Despite my concerns, I've come to realize that law school is a big opportunity for Jason. He shall be able to continue assisting others while earning a living that will enable him to buy me all the kibble I can eat and perhaps even one of those robotic vacuums for my two young friends to chase. He also seems quite excited about the prospect of returning to school and I am willing to put up with Jennifer and her "ideas" if it will enable my human companion to pursue his dreams.

And what has Jennifer been up to, you ask? She is in the midst of studying for her Ph.D. exams which are scheduled for this November. As near as I can tell, this process involves checking out a large number of books from the library and then reading them. The stacks of books are quite sizable; I almost feel bad for the poor girl. Almost. Once her exams are completed, she will be able to begin writing her dissertation. A process which I'm sure will involve acquiring even more books.

Once both of them are done with their respective graduate programs, it will raise the number of doctors in the family to three. I, of course, earned my Ph.D. in Feline Studies several years ago.

I am not a mutt!

2011-02-24T19:47:00.000-08:00

Jennifer has been spending a lot of time around the house lately. I believe she is reading as the stack of books on her floor keep growing. I have mixed feelings about her seemingly continual presence. One the one hand, I am forced to deal with her unusual ideas more frequently, but on the other, I can ensure that my meals are served promptly at the proper times. Feline meal times is one of Jennifer's recent notions, and a peculiar one at that, but that is a subject for another post.

Recently, I came across an intriguing chart. As the image is quite large, I won't post it here. Instead, this link should allow you to access it. The chart is really quite fascinating and reflects an immense effort on the part of its creators. As many of you may know, my feline housemates and I are not members of any recognized breed. Because of this, Jennifer insists on calling us mutts when asked about our pedigree. Mutts, of course, are dogs and it is terribly improper to refer to the more sophisticated cat by that term. This chart, however, enables us to determine a more suitable designation.

We shall begin with Edmund as he is the easiest to identify:

Under the "Solid" category, the gray is a tempting choice, but my young friend's paws are pink and so that option is out. Instead, he must be a Frost and as he has some white on his chest we have decided that he is a Tuxedo Frost.

Dante's case is more complicated as white fur is generally indicative of albinism, a condition which he most assuredly does not have.

However, it is possible to locate a non-albino white with Dante's eye and paw color on the far left side of the chart. His spot patterns means that he is white with black Harlequin spotting. An excellent pattern for my occasionally uncoordinated housemate.

Identifying my description gave us the most challenges.

My coloring and pattern suggest calico. However, male cats lack the genes necessary for tri-color coats and thus calicos can only be females. Lady cats are all well and good but I am most definitely a gentleman. (Editor's Note: Male calicos do exist but are extremely rare). My coloring, instead, is that of a tabby. Tabbies are located in several places on the chart and it is necessary to look under the "Tipped" section to find mine. I am a Spotted Cameo Tabby.

I can only hope that Jennifer uses the correct terminology in the future although given her stubbornness I suspect she will continue to refer to us as mutts.

Presents from Santy Claws

2010-12-25T14:42:00.000-08:00

I wasn't sure about this Santa Clause thing. He sees me when I'm sleeping? He knows when I'm awake?! He knows if I've been bad or good?!? This is supposed to be exciting?! Sounds pretty scary to me. O.o

I was getting all worried, but Dante told me not to because Santa only comes down chimneys and we don't have one. I had to take his word for it 'cause I don't know what a chimney is.

But I LOVE getting presents! I thought you all might like getting presents too. So here's some links to funny pet things and the three of us all dressed for the holidays!

Cat vs. Printer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSK1D3bZhRs

Dogs are silly (not like good kitties)
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html

Spanky

Dante

and Me!

The Trouble with Humans

2010-12-21T23:49:00.000-08:00

So I imagine you're all wondering what my person has been up to since we last posted. The answer is "the usual." Big surprise there. She reads. She keeps letting TGWWGA hang around. She scratches my ears. But it wouldn't be "the usual" if she didn't find some way to be incredibly dorky. She may have managed to out do herself this time, too. She found out that the author of "The Trouble with Tribbles" was going to be in town for a talk and a book signing. Yay.

Since you probably have a life, you probably don't know what tribbles are or why they'd be trouble. I know I didn't. I still wish I didn't. Spanky says I have to tell you, though, or the post won't make any sense. Anyway, "The Trouble with Tribbles" is an episode of the show Star Trek. It's about a bunch of humans that travel around the galaxy. This sounded like it could be pretty cool at first. There are aliens! And laser pistol things! And space battles! BUT the show's from the 1960s which was forever ago and even with the laser pistol things it's mostly about peace and harmony and making new friends. Only nerds would want to watch something so old and boring.

Oh, and tribbles are these little alien things that pretty much purr. They don't have eyes or do anything. Just purr. And they don't like Klingons. I'm not explaining Klingons no matter what Spanky says.

Despite the obvious nerdiness, my person was ridiculously excited when she heard that this guy was going to be in town. She was so excited that she dropped what she was doing for the day (scratching my ears) so she could go. She says it was a really interesting and he talked about his writing, and that silly space show, and lots of nerds were there. Some of the nerds even dressed up like characters from the show. ><

The talk was at a museum that had a whole exhibit about the space show. A. Whole. Exhibit. Apparently, there are enough nerds to support this kind of thing. They had props and costumes from the show, too. This was very exciting for my person. She told me all about it when she got home. I tried to pretend to be asleep. It did not work.

After the talk, there was a reception that had food and drink like in the show. Spanky says "Ale" is a type of alcohol but my person says that there wasn't any alcohol in the drinks there. Any potential coolness this event might've had just went out the window. Again, my person thought it was exciting and took a picture of it with her friend's stuffed tribble. That's it at the top of the post. The grey thing is a tribble. I guess it looks okay. It could be fun to play with and gnaw on. Oh, now I'm being told it's not a cat toy (even though it looks like a cat toy) because the author signed it. He signed a toy. >< And this made it not a toy.

Oh, and TGWWGA says to tell you all that the sign next to the blue drink should read "Romulan Ale." I didn't think my opinion of him could get any lower, but it just did.

Mission at San Juan Capistrano

2010-09-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

So what do you think of the new look? We decided it was time for a change so we asked Jennifer to show us some options. Edmund wanted one with birds in flight but I thought this one fit more with our blog's theme. Dante pretended not to be interested but I spied him peeking around the corner more than once. The young always think they are so clever!

However, I did not begin this post to tell you that our blog has a new background. I imagine you've already determined that for yourselves. I believe I have mentioned previously that Jennifer has a rather large number of relatives. They are forever getting underfoot. In any event, they all decided to come for a visit and the entire group went on numerous adventurers in the surrounding area. My feline compatriots have already written about a few of these and I shall be adding another one to the list: namely, the Mission at San Juan Capistrano.

The Mission at San Juan Capistrano was founded by a group of Franciscans in the late 1700's. It has been through many changes since then and most, if not all, of the original Mission buildings are no longer visible. The architectural of the remaining structures is quite beautiful, as you can see.

The grounds have been beautifully landscaped as well and feature native and non-native plants.

Although the Mission is now largely a living museum, mass is still held in its Serra Chapel. Jennifer did not wish to use flash photography in a church, so I am afraid there are no usable pictures of it for me to post. However, she did take a lovely shot of a side alter dedicated to Saint Peregrine.

Peregrine, as you may know, is the patron saint of cancer sufferers. Why, exactly, the Mission features a prayer room dedicated to this particular saint was not made clear to me.

I could not post about San Capistrano without mentioning the annual arrival of the swallows every March who build nests under the eves of the Mission buildings. As Jennifer neglected to take a single photograph of either a swallow or its nest, I am forced to post one from an Internet source.

This is the first time in the history of this blog that we have used someone else's photograph. The dear girl really must learn to be more observant.

She did, however, capture some lovely pictures of the fish in the Mission's fountains. There was a sign that forbade putting one's hands in the water as it might harm the fish and aquatic plants. It said nothing about paws, however.

Here fishy, fishy, fishy...

2010-09-02T21:58:00.000-07:00

Look it how big that fish is! And that's just it's back! Whoa! I like to eat fishies, especially the kind that comes in a can, but I think maybe this fish could eat me. O.o

Spanky says that it isn't a fish. He says it's a whale and it most definitely does not eat kitties. I don't know, though. It lives in the water and has fins and a tail and last time I checked that's what fishies have. Also, it has to eat something. It's not going to live off of little flakes like the goldfish we had did. Dante just told me that I don't have to worry cause we're too far away from the water to worry about any fish that doesn't come in a can. Yay! Tuna fish! :D

Oh right. I'm supposed to be posting about the not-fish.

So, to see the big not-fish, Mommy and her family had to go on the ocean in a boat. I don't know why they wanted to go near that much water but sometimes humans are strange like that (even my Mommy). They wanted to see a whale but whales don't always tell people where they are going to be. You just have to be lucky enough to catch them.

They saw all sorts of cool stuff! Like dolphins!

Spanky says those are also not fish even if they look like fish. They are different not-fish than whales. So confusing! Why can't I just call them all fish? It would make things easier.

And then they saw a whale. Right by the boat!

Even though it's gray like me, it's called a blue whale. Blue whales are the biggest not-fish of all! Spanky says that they're the biggest mammals, too. When I asked him what a mammal was he told me that I was a mammal and so was Mommy and so was the Monster. Which is just silly. I don't look anything like the Monster! Also, I do not have fins like the not-fish (but I do have a tail).

Mommy also took some video of the whales and the dolphins. Since she was on the water, the camera goes up and down a lot but it's still pretty cool. You might also want to turn off the sound unless you want to hear Mommy and her sister talk about if the camera is on or not.

Dolphins!

Whale!

Lions and Tigers and Other Cool Cats

2010-08-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

The cool cat would be me. *nod nod*

So lots of my person's family came to visit us this summer. They weren't really visiting us specifically, more like visiting Southern California. Which is good because we don't have room for that many people and I hate giving up my room. While they were here, they went on all sorts of adventures. Finally! Usually more of my person's relatives means more dorkiness but this time they actually did cool stuff. My person says that there's enough stories that us three have to share. Whatever. Edmund is ridiculously excited about his post. Something about a really big fish.

Anyway, one of their adventures was going to the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Usually, I don't like these types of things because they're educational, but this place was pretty cool. There's the usual stuff like lions:

I totally got my napping technique from them. My person also has this thing about ugly birds.

Apparently, these are super-endangered or something.

But the hands-down coolest part was a bus trip through this big open-air exhibit. The animals aren't in cages. They're just roaming with around each other like animals are supposed to. They do keep the eaters separate from the eaten, which is probably a good idea. This guy is a great big rhino and he's totally letting a antelope looking thing push him around!

Edmund tries to do that sometimes with our food bowl and I just ignore him. Dude! You're like four times his size! You can take him!

There was lots of other cool stuff, too! Like gorillas with wigs:

And baby elephants. My person thought they were adorable. I think they're funny looking.

So, way less lame than usual. She'll probably spend the next three months inside just to make up for it. *rolls eyes*

Dude! She did it again!!!

2010-06-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

We've only posted like twice in the last couple of months and both posts were by Edmund. Edmund is cool and all but he's not the only cat here. I tried to tell her so I could post too, but oh no, she had papers to write and essays to grade and TGWWGA kept wanting to talk to her. Sheesh! What about us, huh? What about our blog?!?

Anyway, she's mostly done with school now. She still has some essays to grade and I'm doing my best to help her with them so that summer break can start (party!). Every time she opens the grade sheet, I hit some buttons for her. What student wouldn't want an R? Or maybe a Q? Everyone else want A's and B's and who wants to be like everyone else? Posers, that's who. She says the professor she's working for this quarter won't go for that kind of creativity but I don't know. Any guy who has his students watch Edward Scissorhands, Metropolis, and Akira sounds like someone who thinks outside the box to me.

Oh, I'm supposed to tell you that she's done taking classes. Apparently, she's not done with school just with the going to school part. Weird, I know, but that's what she says. It sounds like she'll be spending a lot more time around here for the next year studying for a big test. On one hand, that means she can scratch my ears more often and maybe I'll finally get to post more than once every few months. On the other hand, I'm not sure if less getting out of the house is what she needs. I'm pretty sure normal people go places.

Speaking of how weird my person is, last quarter she abandoned us to go to a science fiction conference. So what is she doing at the end of this quarter? Staying home and paying attention to me? No. Getting a life? Of course not. She's going to ANOTHER science fiction conference. That's right, two get-together's with other nerds in three months. There's really is no hope for her, is there?

At least she's taking TGWWGA with her this time. Wait, does that mean he's not TGWWGA anymore since he's going away? Whatever. I'm not changing the name now.

I'm ready for my close up!

2010-05-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

I'm a movie star! No, really! Look!

That's me!

When we very first came to California, we stayed with Mommy's aunt and uncle. I don't really remember much cause I spent a lot of time hiding in the corner. I'd been trapped in a car with the Monster for four days! I was traumatized!

Anyway, the reason Mommy's aunt and uncle live in California is cause her aunt works for Dreamworks. She was so impressed by me and my frolicking (and hiding) that she asked Mommy to send her pictures and videos of me for a project her company was working on. I did my best to be adorable.

It had a very silly name- Shrek: The Final Chapter. What kind of a name is Shrek? Maybe it's a type of food? I wonder if it's yummy?

O.o Dante just said that Shrek is a monster. And not a sometimes-okay monster like our Monster but a real one! Eeek!

*peeks out from around the corner* Is it safe to come out now?

The Shrek movies all have a really cool cat character. He has boots! And a hat! And a Spanish accent! So cool! Why don't they name the movie after him instead of the monster? Who wants to go see a movie about a big, green ogre? Cats are much nicer and less scary. *nod nod nod*

For the new movie, the Dreamworks people wanted there to be even more of Puss in Boots to love. Just like me! And now he's on movie posters and commercials and the Internet and I'm famous! The first time Mommy saw the movie trailer on the television she picked me up so I could see it, too. He even has to roll around before he gets up like I do!

Mommy says that we're not sure how much of the stuff we sent they actually used and we didn't really send that much. They probably had pictures and stuff of other cats, too. But I don't care. Without me he would not be nearly as awesome. I'm a movie star!

I didn't go the premier cause Mommy said they wouldn't let her smuggle me in. But she wouldn't have had to smuggle me! Just hold me up next to the poster and they'd realize I was in the movie. I didn't know about the monster part, though, so maybe it's a good thing I didn't go. I would've been too scared. But you should all go! It may have a monster but it also has a cat with sword and boots and looks like me!

Eeeek!

2010-04-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

This time Mommy left us but she didn't take the Monster with her. Instead she left us home alone with HIM!!! I hid under the bed a lot.

Even though I totally would've fit in Mommy's suitcase (she didn't need all those clothes, anyway), it's probably a good thing I didn't go. I thought she was just going to go to a nice hotel and meet nice people and have a nice time. She did that too, but while she was there she went with some of her friends to some place called Gatorland. Why?! Look at those teeth! They're huge!

Dante says that isn't really a gator, it's just a pretend gator mouth. But still! Big pointy teeth! I'm staying under the bed.

Anyway, I guess Gatorland has been around for like 50 years as a place where people come see alligators (gators is another word for alligator). 50 years is a long time! That's like a million years in cat years!

And it's full of alligators! Look!

Don't let those birds standing right by the gator fool you into thinking it's safe. Birds have wings. Kitties do not. Also, gators like water. They practically live in it! That's a bad sign right there.

There are even little bitty gators there. I might be able to beat up one of them (I have claws!), but there's like a million of them with a gazillion sharp little teeth!

While they were there, Mommy and her friends saw an alligator wrestling show. That's right. People actually wrestle alligators. Why would you do something like that?!? Mommy was smart and stayed on the other side of a railing and took pictures.

This just proves that Monsters are crazy. I don't care what Spanky says. They even taught the gators to jump up out of the water for food! O.o

This just has bad idea written all over it.

There's also a petting zoo at Gatorland that has deer and goats and stuff. I'm not sure if I like goats, but they seem nicer than gators. Less teeth. One of the deer did eat Mommy's friend's map, though. I didn't know maps were edible.

Mommy says she had fun, but I don't know. Wouldn't it have been even more fun to stay at the hotel and take a nap? Or even better, to stay at home and scratch my ears?

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar

2010-02-24T22:46:00.000-08:00

Since we won't be able to post for awhile, I want to make sure I give a shout out to my friend Hammy. That's him in the picture. He stayed with us over Christmas Break while his people were out of town. It was pretty crazy having 4 cats in the house, but Hammy is cool so it was ok.

I wasn't sure at first if I was going to like him. He was a little too enthusiastic. I'm generally pretty easy going, but he came bounding up to me the first night and touched his nose to mine. Whoa! Too much, dude, too much. He was still pretty young, though, so it's understandable. I took him under my wing err.. paw and showed him the ropes and he settled down.

It took forever to get the others to like him. Edmund would just sit and meow at him. Edmund can meow really loud. Like hear him across the house loud. I think Edmund was worried that if me and Hammy were friends, I wouldn't be Edmund's friend anymore. Which was silly. But that's Edmund for you. Always worrying about stuff. I got him to see reason eventually and then we could all three play together.

Spanky never really warmed up to Hammy. Big surprise there. Spanky is so grumpy! He kept grumbling about "too many kittens" and "I'm not raising another whippersnapper." Srsly. Edmund and I aren't kittens! Anyway, Hammy learned to just avoid Spanky and it all was good.

Just to show you want a cool dude Hammy is, here he is on New Year's Eve in the liquor cabinet. I didn't even know my people had a liquor cabinet.

Even though it was New Year's Eve, we couldn't convince my person to give us any bubbly to ring in the new year. Lame! *eye roll*

P.S. My person picked out the title. She says it relates to Hammy's real name. Whatever. Hammy is a much cooler name than Hamlet.

It never ends!

2010-02-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

My person has told me that this will probably the last time she can let us use the computer for awhile. Apparently, she has to write more papers or something. She just wrote papers! How can it be time to do it again?! Srsly not cool. Anyway, we did get to post some stuff. Not much, but it's better than the 4 months of nothing last time.

I would be more ok with this if it wasn't for her other reason for needing the computer. At the end of the term she's going to Orlando. At first I thought this was good because she's finally going on a real Spring Break. That would be so cool!

I shoulda known better.

She is going to Orlando for a conference on, get this, science fiction. Science fiction!!! What is wrong with her?!? Apparently, this is a big deal meeting for people who like to study science fiction. Why would you do that? Why get all the dorks together in once place? I mean, it gets them to leave the cool people alone, but all it really does is give them a chance to trade ideas on how to be even more dorky. Gargh!

*sighs* She is really excited about it, though. It means she's even more stressed out than usual, and I think it means we're going to get left with TGWWGA again. She says it will only be for a few days. I guess I can ignore him for that long if this trip is that important to her.

I am totally getting cat hair all over her stuff before she goes, though.

Umm...I don't think the floor is supposed to be squishy...

2010-02-17T19:39:00.000-08:00

We've been having lots of adventures in California, but we didn't even have to leave the house for the last one! I love it when we stay here where my food dish is! Two weeks ago, Mommy came home and discovered that the living room and closet floor was all wet. A pipe had burst and was soaking everything! O.o

The Monster wasn't home so Mommy had to figure out how to turn off the water and move everything out of the way all by herself. I would've helped since I'm a good kitty, but my poor feet kept getting wet from all the water. Poor feet.

Apparently, to fix leaky pipes, you need to call lots and lots of other monsters. I'm glad they made the floor not squishy anymore, but I wish they hadn't been so scary. First, a monster came to fix the pipe. He said it would only be a few minutes but it took him two hours. That's a long time to hide under the bed! Meanwhile, another monster showed up to start drying the floor. He wasn't here long, but he left these great big fans behind. They were really loud and made the carpet move up and down. I did not like that all. The floor is supposed to stay still!

The fans had to stay on for days and days and once the floor was done, it was time to dry the walls. Apparently, there's something bad in our walls called asbestos so they had to take out all the wet parts instead of drying them. I wonder if asbestos is a type of monster? I was glad at first (no more fans!) but it turned out it meant that even more monsters had to come to our house. They sealed off the whole area with plastic and put on special suits and masks. Monsters are scary enough without masks!

Now that they're gone, there are all these fun holes in the wall! I can walk right into the closet even if the door is shut. Mommy did block off the crawl space under the stairs. I don't know why, though, it looked like a pretty fun place to play.

The closet is pretty awesome, but what's even better is that I can join Mommy in the bathroom whenever she closes the door with me on the other side. She was so happy to see me when I popped out from underneath the sink the first time, she jumped!

Nothing was ruined because Mommy caught it in time but lots of stuff, including my food dish, is upstairs now. It's great! I don't have to go downstairs and leave Mommy to eat my dinner anymore. Soon, there will be even more of me to love!

Spanky says that there is still more work to do downstairs. More monsters will have to come fix the walls and the carpet. I don't see why they want to fix the walls. Frolicking in the coat closet is fun!

P.S. That last picture is a picture of Spanky, not me (you can see Dante and me in the background). Mommy says I need to learn to be cute when she has the camera ready.

Yes, but where are the plums?

2010-01-22T23:47:00.001-08:00

During the winter holidays, Jason's delightful mother, Lynn, came to stay with us. It was so wonderful to reminisce with her about my youth and the joys of being permitted outside. Oddly, she seems quite fond of Jennifer (something about keeping Jason decently clothed and fed) and refused to discuss the merits of indoor-outdoor living for felines. I know that Jason can be quite a handful, but I fail to see how that should impact my comings and goings.

On a happier note, Lynn is a champion cook and she and Jennifer spent a few days preparing various holiday dishes. Apparently, it is a tradition in Jennifer's family to prepare plum pudding to serve with the holiday meal. I had no idea her background contained such a delightful treat. Ah, plum pudding. A dessert immortalized by the great writers of the Victorian era! It has even found it's way into the words of the popular Yuletide tune "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." Although many people have heard of the dish, few know much about it. As Jennifer was kind enough to take pictures of the process I thought I would share some of my vast store of knowledge on the subject.

One of the most difficult steps is acquiring all of the necessary ingredients. Jennifer had to travel to several stores over the course of a week to find all of the supplies. One of the most difficult to locate was also the most important: suet. Suet is rendered beef fat and is used in plum pudding in much the same way lard or butter is used in other dishes. Unfortunatly, Jennifer failed to take any pictures of it, despite the effort she expended finding it, so I am unable to share any with you.

She did remember her camera at other points, however. As you can see, the recipe requires quite a few items and they all must be chopped before they are added to the mixture. Surprisingly, there are no plums in plum pudding. "Plum" is a British slang term for raisins and this recipe calls for two different kinds.

Once the the batter is prepared, it is put is a small heat-proof container. Because Jennifer did not have a pudding steamer (silly, girl), she had to wing the next few steps. She covered the small container with tin foil and a plate and placed it on a trivet inside her largest pot- a turkey roaster in this case.

She then poured boiling water into the roasting pan, placed the lid on, and placed a brick on top (I told you she was winging it).

After three hours of simmering the water and thereby steaming the pudding, the dish was finished! As you can see, it is not a pudding at all but rather a very dense cake. Why humans insist on calling it pudding instead of cake is an issue for another day.

Traditionally, a quantity of brandy is poured on top of the pudding and then lit on fire just prior to serving. It was quite a spectacular show! Pale blue flames are not easily photographed, however, so you will have to take my word for it. Jennifer was so shocked at the flames that she dropped the match on the pudding itself!

As a finishing touch, the still-warm pudding is served with a cream and brandy sauce that is quite delightful. Unlike the brandy in the pudding (and on the pudding) the brandy in the sauce is not cooked and therefore retains its potency.

A very merry Christmas indeed!

O M G

2010-01-20T21:02:00.000-08:00

I just checked the dates and we haven't posted since September 1st. September 1st!!! That's like...one...two...three...a lot of months! That's ridiculous! Esp. since my person and TGWWGA actually did stuff. Some of it was even cool! Well, sort of cool. As cool as they're ever gonna get. *sigh*

Well, to be totally honest, they did stuff until my person's quarter started. Apparently she took really hard classes and had a lot of work to do for school. I didn't believe her at first. What could be more important than paying attention to me? But look at all those books! There's like a million of them! She ran out of room on her bookcase and had to start stacking them on the floor. Some of those stacks are almost as big as me! And if that wasn't bad enough, she took over the computer too! Personally, I think her teachers would've understood if she'd scratched my ears instead of writing papers, but you know how humans can be about paperwork. *rolls eyes*

Anyway, my person has promised us that we will be able to post more this quarter. I told her if she doesn't, I will totally get Edmund to puke on the bed.

It Must be Genetic

2009-09-01T21:04:00.000-07:00

Given how cool our last guest was, I was really excited to hear that my person's sister was coming to visit. Not only is she not a grad student, she lived in Japan for six months. She even said she'd cook Japanese food for us. How cool is that?!

Her visit started off pretty promising. They all went to a Tiki bar in N. Hollywood and stayed out until like 2 in the morning. Even though I didn't get to go, at least my person finally went out on the town in L.A. The next day was pretty quiet. Which was fine because someone needed to scratch my ears and I wasn't about to let TGWWGA do it. But things started to go downhill after that. On Monday, they did go get drinks at a swanky bar in town but before that they went to a garden. A very educational garden that had lots of cactuses and stuff. What is it with these people and going to educational parks? They already know how to open a tuna can. What else could there possibly be to learn? Especially about cactus!

They said they were going shopping the next day which got my hopes up, but did they shop for something cool? Oh no. They went to used bookstores. That's right. More than one. Just what my person needs: more books. >< My person and TGWWGA took her out to karaoke that day, too, but they manged to find they only one that didn't serve alcohol. They said they had a good time, but I'm pretty sure that cool people aren't sober when they're singing karaoke.

Her last day here, they decided to go the beach. Finally! A normal California thing to do. They even took their bathing suits with them. Turns out, though, that the real reason they went to Laguna Beach was to go to an art exhibit about that World of Warcraft game they're always playing. They did go walk along the beach, but they didn't even put on their suits. I can understand not wanting to get wet, but it was a beautiful, sunny California day at the beach and they spent most of it at an art museum! How much dorkier can you get? My person wanted me to post a WoW picture to go along with this entry, but I'm not gonna. Someone has to draw the line.

My person's parents are coming to visit next week but seeing how both of their children are dorks, they probably are too. *rolls eyes*

Finally!

2009-08-16T16:34:00.000-07:00

So this happened quite a few weeks ago, but it is probably the least dorky thing my person has done the entire time we've lived here and I'm going to blog about it even if it has been awhile.

Back in June, a friend of my person's came to visit us. I remember her from Ohio, but after she got done with school she moved to Chicago. Chicago! The lights! The music! The nightlife! This already made her pretty cool in my book. My person, like the total dork she is, wanted to hang out around here. Here is pretty cool and everything, much better than Ohio, but my person's friend (who is named Emily, btw) realized that we were only an hour a way from L.A. and insisted that they spend some time in the city. I've been saying that for months but my person finally listened to reason and agreed to Emily's plan. Yay!

They spent the first day going to shops on Melrose and Sunset Blvds. My person didn't buy anything but that's ok because she actually went to Melrose and Sunset! So cool! A few days later they drove around Beverly Hills and Belle Aire and even went to Rodeo Drive. They didn't do any shopping, though, partly because TTGWWGA was with them and he doesn't like shopping. Emily had never seen the ocean before, so they also went to the beach which isn't nearly as cool. I know it's Southern California and that's a big thing to do here, but I don't really get what's such a big deal about a lot sand and water. I've got sand in my litter box and it smells funny and the less said about large bodies of water the better.

They wrapped things up by going to a live show in downtown LA. Emily picked the band out. I hadn't heard of it before, but she played me some of her music while she was here and it was all pretty cool. Way better than the stuff my person listens to.

After Emily left, my person hasn't gone to the city again (big surprise) but apparently she's meeting some of her (apparently much cooler) grad school friends downtown for dinner and drinks next week. Maybe there's hope for her yet.

Oops!

2009-08-12T16:58:00.000-07:00

I forgot to include this pic in my post yesterday. I must still be getting over being abandoned. QQ

Anyway, my Mommy's Mommy is a very talented artist and she drew this picture (there's a bigger one below) to decorate the Children's Room at the library she works at. Normally I'm scared of dragons, but this seems like a nice dragon. Come to think of it, he looks a bit scared himself. Cool! I have something in common with a dragon! I wonder if he likes having his tummy rubbed too? It's time for my second afternoon nap! ttyl!

She Left Me!

2009-08-11T16:38:00.000-07:00

Even the Monster left me! Well, maybe that's not such a bad thing.... But, still! Mommy left me! She did come back. Eventually. Doesn't matter. I was left all alone! Except for Dante and Spanky. But they don't scratch my ears and they're not Mommy! *pouts*

Deep breath. Start at the beginning.

The Monster's brother was getting married (Monster's have brothers?!?) and so he went back to Michigan where we used to live for the wedding. It was just us and Mommy. Yay! I got lots of cuddles and snuggles and sitting on the Monster's chair (I'm a brave kitty!). Then Mommy left for work and didn't come home for four whole days! Apparently, she had to leave right from work to catch her plane. But why didn't she take me with her? Oh right. I don't like things that go "whoosh" and Mommy says planes do that. Well, why couldn't she stay, then? Monsters' brothers' wedding can't be better than me, right? ;-(

Mommy says the wedding was lovely and the bride and the groom were very happy. Which is good I guess. My Mommy looked pretty awesome, too. That's a picture of her with the Monster's sister (Monster's have sisters too?!?). She looks nice. Definitely not scary like the Monster. Mommy says the Monster looked very handsome all dressed up for the wedding but I'm not going to post any pictures of him because I'm not that brave of a kitty. Mommy also got to see her family and sleep in her old room. Which is also nice but it would've been much nicer if I was there to frolic and get cat hair all over things and meow randomly. It sounds like her family is going to come visit us in California soon. Maybe we could work out a deal where they stay here and we send the Monster back there?

The Wedding Party

I am Most Certainly Not Domesticated

2009-07-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

It has recently come to my attention that a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences* claims that not only are cats lazy, they domesticated themselves. Rubbish!

Firstly, cats are not lazy. It is a testament to our brilliance and our skill that our actions look effortless. Furthermore, rushing hither and thither is not only unnecessarily tiring, it is rarely effective. Far better results are achieved from choosing tasks wisely and then taking one's time to complete them. Humans could stand to learn a thing or two from cats. Which brings me to my second point.

Secondly, cats did not domesticate themselves. I would argue that cats should not even be considered as a domesticated species. Horses, cows, chickens, and even dogs are domesticated animals. It is sheer foolishness to put felines in the same group with such creatures for reasons that should be obvious. But the real insult is that we would willing put ourselves in such company! According to the study, many thousands of years ago cats noticed that human settlements made excellent hunting grounds and so adapted themselves to living alongside humans. Given how messy humans are, it is no surprise that my forebears realized that this was too good of an opportunity to let pass. Certain physical adjustments were also likely necessary to hunt in an urban environment. Why large cats such as tigers and panthers are a wonder to behold and a testament too our species, they are a bit to big to hunt successfully in the tight places favored by rodents in man-made structures. This, however, does not constitute domestication but a well-planned, comprehensive strategy to take advantage of situation.

Quite frankly, if anyone has been domesticated it is the humans themselves. We have managed to create a partnership in which the humans provide us with food and shelter and in return we grace their homes with our presence. I enjoy hunting for my supper as much as the next cat, but when the weather is disagreeable I also enjoy watching the humans brave the elements to aquire my kibble while I sit warm and dry indoors. Perhaps the human scientists were also aware of this and their study is an attempt to obscure the true nature of the relationship and increase their own sense of worthiness.

*This link will take you to the New York Times' response to this study. My scientifically inclined readers will find a link the study itself there as well.

Long time, no see

2009-07-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. I wanted to, but my person and TGWWGA didn't do anything interesting in, like, forever. Srsly! All my person did was sit at her desk and work. I did get to sleep on some of her students' essays which is exciting for me but probably not exciting for you all to read about. I'm not sure what TGWWGA did because I didn't really pay attention but it probably involved more of his dorky hobbies or something.

Anyway, since my person has finally gotten done with school, lots of stuff has been happening. Like her getting another job (with essays to sleep on!), her friend coming to visit, and everyone going sightseeing. I know, I know. They've been here for a year and they're finally exploring. *rolls eyes* At least you don't have to live with them.

There should be lots of updates with pictures and stuff soon. I think Spanky is even going to talk about news that's important to cats. Sounds pretty boring to me, but maybe if he tells you guys he won't tell me.

Joshua Tree

2009-05-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

My feline companions and I originally wrote this article for publication in an online newsletter. The plan was to wait until it had been published there before posting it here as there is some overlap in the readership. Unfortunatly, the publication date of the article is now uncertain so we have decided to post it here.

Joshua Tree National Park

Spanky: As it is my understanding that our previous article about a national park was well received by our readers, my fellow felines and I have decided to write another installment.

Edmund: What did he say?

Dante: He said that people liked our article.

Edmund: They did?!? Yay! *frolics*

Spanky: Ahem. As I was saying, for this article we’ve decided to write about a park near our new home. I am, of course, referring to Joshua Tree National Park located in Southern California.

Edmund: Except there weren’t any trees there! Why is it called Joshua Tree National Park if there aren’t any trees?

Spanky: Excellent question, my young friend. Allow me to explain. The Joshua Tree is a giant member of the lily family more commonly known as a yucca. As you can see from the picture, it resembles a kind of spindly cactus. Mormon settlers named the tree after the prophet Joshua because its limbs seem to reach upward in prayer.

Edmund: So, not a tree?

Dante: Nope. More like a spiky plant thing.

Spanky: The park contains portions of two deserts—the Sonoran and the Mojave—as well as The Little San Bernardino Mountains.

Dante: Only humans would think it was a good idea to go walk around some place with no water and that’s covered with plants that grow their own weapons.

Spanky: As we’ve discussed before, such trips hold much educational value.

Dante: Right. Value.

Spanky: Moving on. The park also contains numerous rock outcroppings that appear to have been piled up by absent-minded giants.

Edmund: There are giants in Southern California?!

Spanky: No, my dear boy. I was speaking metaphorically.

Dante: He doesn’t know what a metaphor is.

Edmund: Is it cat food?

Spanky: No, it’s not cat food. It’s just a…. never mind what it is. There aren’t any giants in Southern California or anywhere else.

Edmund: Yay! *frolics*

Spanky: The rock formations were created by the weathering of large deposits of metamorphic rock, granite and gneiss (pronounced “nice”) to be precise. This process is still ongoing as water works it way into minute fractures in the outcroppings slowly eroding its surroundings.

Edmund: You’re sure they’re not giants’ toys?

Spanky: Completely certain.

Dante: If you are not crazy enough to want to go walk around in a desert, here is a link to the park’s website.

Spanky: How considerate of you, Dante.

Dante: Whatever.

Spanky: Humph! When I was a kitten, I was expected to thank people when they complimented me.

Edmund: Guys! She said she won’t let us do this again if you two fight!

Spanky: Very well, then. I hope everyone has enjoyed learning about Joshua Tree National Park. We look forward to presenting for you all again.

The Return of the Dorky King

2009-04-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

I know I blog about my people's dorkiness a lot, but that's because they keep doing dorky stuff! This is a picture of Edmund with TGWWGA's World of Warcraft character as an action figure. Apparently my person's family bought this for him as a gift! Why?!?! Does he really need to be anymore dorky? *sighs* Anyway, he was ridiculously excited about it. It's kind of cool. I guess. In a totally-still-dorky way.

My person isn't any better. Remember how relieved I was when she dropped that speculative fiction class? Well, now she's gone and enrolled in an actual science-fiction class. This is not an improvement. Not only is she reading SF novels, she's reading what other people have written about SF and going to optional lectures at school about SF. I don't know which is worse: the SF part or the optional school part. This is worse when they stayed inside and watched Battlestar Galactica. It's like all of her dork hobbies are feeding off each other or something.

I think I'm going to go take a nice long nap. Maybe things will be better when I wake up.

I Am All Worn Out

2009-04-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

Oh wow! It's been awhile since I posted We've been super-busy the last few weeks. First, Mommy had to finish her classes for the quarter. There were books and papers everywhere! My favorite thing to do is sleep on student essays. Mommy is trying to teach me to sleep on only the good essays to make her grading go faster. But if it goes faster, what will I sleep on?

While I was helping Mommy hold down her books, the Monster's dad came to visit us. Two monsters! At the same time! O.o I hid under the bed. The only time I got to eat any dinner was when they all went out. Lucky for me, they went to lots of different places. I think they told Spanky about what they did but I'm not sure because I was back underneath the bed. The Monster's Dad tried to get me to come out so he could scratch my ears, but I was too smart to fall for that. Sneaky Monster's Dad....

After the Monster's Dad left, I spent lots of time following Mommy around and frolicking. Then her new quarter started and another, more different Monster came to stay with us. Dante checked him out and said that the new Monster is thinking about coming to school here and needed a place to stay while he looked at Mommy's school. Since this was only a temporary Monster, I decided I should be brave and go investigate him. First, I stood in the doorway (so I could run away quickly). Then, I stood next to the door. Then, I ran back and stood in the doorway again. Then, I hid behind Mommy. Then I stood under the desk. I had almost reached the new Monster when I remembered that Monsters are tricky! So I ran and hid under the bed. But I was still a very brave kitty!

Also, we have ants. I think they're fun to watch but Mommy does seem to be having as much fun as me. :/

O Happy Day!

2009-03-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

The Monster won't be home everyday anymore because he got a job! I have been frolicking all over the house since I heard the news. Now it will just me and Mommy and Dante (and Spanky) here during the day. Except for when Mommy has to go to school than it will just be us kitties.... :(

But no Monster! :D

Mommy says that the Monster is going to be working with people who have special needs. I didn't know they needed Monsters for that type of thing. What do you think he does? Maybe he scares away other monsters? He got the job offer a few days ago but he had to pass a TB test and a background test for it to be official. I'm not sure what those tests do but they must not test for monsterness because he passed.

Mommy is almost done with her quarter and then the Monster's dad is going to visit us. Monsters have dads?!?!

Sigh

2009-02-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

I was hoping that my person had gotten a little less dorky cause she told me that she had decided not to take the sci-fi class and take a class about a writer named James Joyce. I wasn't sure that was much of an improvement but apparently the book she's reading for it was inspired by a really awesome party. So awesome, it woke the dead! I'm hoping that if she reads about parties, she'll finally let me throw one.

I think it's going to take more than a book about a party to help her, though. She and TGWWGA have spent every Friday night glued to the television watching Battlestar Galactica. That's right. They are staying in on a Friday night to watch a show that has spaceships AND robots. *rolls eyes* As if that wasn't bad enough, TGWWGA is getting dorkier too! I didn't think that was even possible but he spent all of Valentine's Day weekend at some sort of gaming convention. There are apparently lots of humans who like to spend their time making armies out of little plastic figures so that they can go "fight" other people's plastic armies. When TGWWGA won all his games, do you know what they did? They didn't tell him to get a life or a less dorky hobby. Oh no. They rewarded him! They gave him a certificate that said he was the best general and they gave him prizes! Gagh! What is wrong with these people?!?!

There's just no hope for them, is there?

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

February 10th was my birthday! I am now 4 years old! That makes me a big kitty! Mommy says it was also the Monster's birthday so I had to share my cake with him. I didn't know Monster's ate cake....

I got a new toy for my birthday and Dante and I had lots of fun playing with it on the stairs. We tried to get Mommy to play with us but she said something about not tripping people at the top of the stairs. The Monster is also getting a toy from Mommy and the Two Nice Ladies Who Scratch My Ears. I asked Spanky what kind of toy and he said it was a model of the Monster's World of Warcraft character. When I asked Spanky what a "World of Warcraft" was he just rolled his eyes and said it was "the time sink of the gods."

Cake and toys! Next the Monster will want some of my food! O.o

Do you think I could play with the Monster's toy when he's not looking?

Freedom!

2009-01-24T00:17:00.001-08:00

As I believe I mentioned in an earlier post, I spent most of my formative years with humans that did not subscribe to the foolish notion that cats are best confined indoors and I was able to come and go as a pleased. I had just about given up hope of ever persuading Jennifer of the error of her ways when, just this last week, I discovered that the front door had been left ajar. The weather has been quite lovely here the past few weeks and I pounced on the opportunity to explore our natural surroundings.

I spent several wonderful moments enjoying the feel of sunshine on my whiskers and grass beneath my paws. I almost felt like a kitten again!

And then I spotted Jennifer coming towards me. I tried to lose her by dashing through a bush but to no avail. She captured me and brought me back inside where I have remained despite my repeated (and very vocal, I might add) requests to be let outside. I've concluded that Jason must have taken pity on me in my captivity and provided me with a means of escape. I can only hope that circumstances will permit him to assist me again.

The Ground! It Moved!

2009-01-09T01:05:00.004-08:00

Right in the middle of my evening nap we had an earthquake! Mommy says she thought the neighbors were moving furniture until she felt her chair move. It felt like a truck drove by the house and then there was big WHUMP! and it felt like the floor moved up and then down. I was super-scared when it happened but everyone is okay now. Spanky didn't like the ground moving either but he didn't hide under the bed with me. Mommy and the Monster seemed more excited than scared but I stayed under the bed until I was sure the ground had stopped moving. There was an aftershock about an hour later but it was over too fast for me to get under the bed again.

I like being a California kitty when there is Christmas on the beach but I'm not so sure I like it when there are earthquakes. Ground is supposed to stay still! How am I supposed to sleep on it if it moves around?

If you are brave enough to read about earthquakes, click here.

Witajcie!

2009-01-07T14:59:00.004-08:00

Welcome Polish readers!

It has recently come to my attention that an acquaintance of Jennifer's (who has commented on this blog previously) used "To Say Nothing of the Cat" as a reference to aid her own felines in a move of some distance. Jennifer tells me that the felines (and their humans) in question live in Poland. I had no idea we had such a far-flung readership! Although this is flattering in itself, I am pleased to hear that our musings about our journey were helpful to others. I can only hope that their humans did not engage in the same deceitfulness that Jennifer did during our journey. Judging from the two Polish felines previous comments, it seems that they have had some experience with "Valium." As their statements were generally positive, I must conclude that their human actually arranged for them to travel via a Valium and did not engage in the misleading tactics employed by Jennifer.

But I digress, I hope that my Polish readers (both feline and human) are settling in their new home and enjoying the sights and sounds of their new city.

First Day of School

2009-01-05T18:31:00.004-08:00

So my person started her Winter quarter today and she appears to have reached new depths of dorkiness. She tells me that she's taking a class on cyberculture AND one on speculative fiction (which I think is just an academic way of saying sci-fi). Srsly? She might as well get a shirt that says she's a dork.

I just remembered that she already does have a shirt that says "Geek is Chic." *rolls eyes*

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like her and everything but would it kill her to be, you know, normal once and awhile? She apparently even tells her students that she plays World of Warcraft! According to her, her students love it when she does that. Maybe the problem is that all humans are dorks.

She seems to be excited about her new classes and says that her students are pretty cool, so that's good I guess. She's teaching the same class she taught last quarter which means that she'll have more time to scratch my ears since she has less lesson planning to do. Perhaps I can sleep on her dorky books and she'll be forced to do something cool instead of reading. Like making me tuna. Or cream. Or maybe tuna and cream! Alright, gotta go pester her about that now.

l8r!

Cedar Breaks

2008-12-26T23:58:00.007-08:00

Editor's Note: The cats put together this article about our trip to Cedar Breaks and asked me to post it for them. So without further ado:

Cedar Breaks National Monument

Spanky: During our cross-continental trek, my humans and I decided to take a brief detour to visit the Cedar Breaks National Monument in Utah.

Edmund: Dante and me were there, too!

Spanky: Yes, you were. As I was saying—

Edmund: But you didn’t say we were there! You have to say it or it doesn’t count.

Spanky: Ahem. Myself, my humans, and my feline companions visited Cedar Breaks during our trip.

Edmund: Thank you!

Spanky: You’re welcome. Now if I may continue without any more interruptions…

Edmund: eep

Spanky: Set well up in the mountains, Cedar Breaks is a natural limestone amphitheater, five miles in diameter and 2,500 feet deep.

Edmund: We had to climb a very twisty road to get up there! And when we got there it was cold and very windy. I though we were going to get blown away. *nod nod nod*

Spanky: It appears that some of us are more easily impressed than others. As I was saying, the sides of the amphitheater have been eroded into a variety of gullies, canyons, free-standing “fins,” and pinnacles. Iron oxide has stained much of the originally white limestone, creating a colorful array of reds, oranges, and yellows.

Dante: My person was ridiculously excited about all the rocks. As if being a book person wasn’t dorky enough, she has to go and be a rock person, too.

Spanky: Well, it was fortunate for us that she was there or we wouldn’t have known what we were looking at.

Dante: Dude, they didn’t even let us out of the car.

Spanky: Perhaps if you spent more time looking out the window instead of sleeping you would learn a few things about the world.

Edmund: Don’t fight! Fighting makes me very sad.

Spanky: Very well, then, I shall continue with my talk. The area that is now Cedar Breaks was once at the bottom of a large lake. As the Pacific plate plunged underneath the continental plate during the Cretaceous period (144-65 million years ago) the area was lifted up and the water drained away. Wind and water (in both liquid and frozen form) did their work and left us with the beautiful scene we enjoy today.

Dante: Could you have made that any more boring?

Spanky: I’m not going to dignify that with a response.

Edmund: I though it was interesting. Is the Cretaceous like cat food? They both start with C!

Spanky: I appreciate your enthusiasm, Edmund, but let’s hold questions until the end.

Edmund: Okay.

Spanky: The park contains camping facilities and numerous hiking trails. The Visitor Center also hosts a variety of informational programs about the park’s history, geography, flora and fauna. It’s located quite close to Bryce Canyon, Zion National Monument, and the Grand Canyon.

Edmund: I want to go camping!

Dante: No way, man. There’s no electrical outlets.

Spanky: I hope you all enjoyed the presentation. Please see the link below for more information about the monument. Anyone interested in taking home a white cat with black spots, please see me.

Dante: I heard that.

Official Web Page: http://www.nps.gov/cebr/

Christmas on the Beach!

2008-12-26T22:43:00.005-08:00

I'm enjoying being a California kitty. Instead of driving through snow and sleet and ice for Christmas, my Mommy and Two Nice Ladies Who Scratch My Ears went to the beach! Here are some pics:

omg superfreaky!

2008-11-18T11:49:00.002-08:00

Look what I found on lolcats:

more animals

That white cat looks just like me! I know it's not really me and everything, but it's still kind of weird. He's even got a spot between his ears like me. My person pointed out that the spot on his side, is on the wrong side, but I still think it's pretty cool. I'm kind of Internet famous now. Very cool.

Welcome to California!

2008-10-13T00:57:00.002-07:00

I hope you've enjoyed reading "To Say Nothing of the Cat." Below are some pictures from our trip. The cats had a lot of fun writing this and hope you all enjoyed reading it. Currently, the are discussing if they would like to continue with the project, so look for updates from them in the near future.

Cedar Breaks

2008-10-13T00:49:00.003-07:00

The World's Biggest Litter Box!

2008-10-13T00:44:00.003-07:00

P.S. Mommy says the litter box is named "Mojave Desert." I wonder if my litter box has a name too?

Hehe

2008-10-13T00:29:00.003-07:00

Watch For Rocks!

Grade 7% Next 8 Miles

Srsly? At least it has a rest area...

Runaway Truck Ramp (just in case)

Rocky Mountains

2008-10-13T00:22:00.003-07:00

Colorado

2008-10-13T00:18:00.003-07:00

I Think People in Nebraska Don't Have Much to Do

2008-10-12T00:43:00.003-07:00

Very Large Rest Area

Train! In a cornfield....

Plane! In a cornfield....

Corn! In a cornfield....

Have I mentioned that Nebraska is Really Boring?

Welcome to Iowa

2008-10-12T00:35:00.004-07:00

Missouri River

Illinois

2008-10-12T00:29:00.003-07:00

Bridge Over the Mississippi River

Mississippi River

Windmills!

Fire!

2008-10-09T00:54:00.003-07:00

Contained and monitored by professionals.

Utah!

2008-10-09T00:37:00.004-07:00

We Made It!

2008-09-10T21:40:00.003-07:00

We have finally arrived in California after six very long days in the automobile. As we arrived ahead of schedule, we were unable to gain access to our new dwelling. It is my understanding that even if we were able to take up residence immediately, the power has not yet been switched on. Apparently, humans need an electric light source in order to function at night.

We are spending the evening with yet another one of Jennifer's relatives. She does seem to have quite a few of them and they are not gathered in any one geographic location like a sensible family. This particular set (her uncle, aunt, and their two children) is quite a likable bunch, however. I am far too old to play with young ones, or I might seriously consider staying with them. They do not seem the type to threaten to lock cats in their carriers at the slightest provocation. Perhaps we can leave Jennifer here and Jason and I will continue on to our new home? While my human can usually be persuaded to see reason, I think that in this case he will insist on taking Jennifer with us.

Vegas!

2008-09-10T08:48:00.003-07:00

So, I like my person and everything, but she's not very cool. Last night we were in Las Vegas. Sin City! And do you know what she did? She (and TGWWGA) were home in bed by 12:30.

After we got to Vegas, they went out to the casinos. They didn't let me go with them, though. My person said that I wasn't old enough to gamble so they wouldn't let me in. :( Anyway, they had dinner at New York-New York and then wandered around a couple of the other casinos including one that looked like a huge castle! She said they only gambled away a dollar because they couldn't figure out the rules to the slot machines. They should've played poker! I would've played poker if they'd let me come. If dogs can play poker like in that painting than so can cats. :p

They also went to a bar called Coyote Ugly, but they didn't stay long. My person says it was kind of boring. I think if they'd stayed past 12:30 something cool would've happened. Nothing fun happens before midnight.

*sighs* See what I mean? Total losers.

My person says we're almost done with our trip and we will be in California tonight. Yay! I am soooo tired of being in the car.

Monsters Do Go to California!

2008-09-08T22:00:00.004-07:00

Well, at least they go to Colorado. We even went to his den! It was very scary! I managed to get a picture of it, though. That's it right there. I thought caves only had one entrance, but the Monster's cave had two entrances. Mommy says it wasn't a cave at all. She said it was a "tunnel" named "Eisenhower." Maybe the Monster's name is Eisenhower?

Today we finally left the really boring flat place called Nebraska and went to Colorado. Colorado is way cooler! There were mountains and streams and clouds and tunnel-caves! We stopped and visited Mommy's cousin in Denver. The bed in her spare room made a great hiding place. It took Mommy, her cousin, and the Monster to move the bed and get me. After we got done playing, we went for a drive in the mountains. We went up and down and around curves, just like a roller-coaster! Anytime any of the other cars misbehaved, my Mommy told them that they should look at where her license plate was from and count their blessings that she wasn't "swerving erratically while driving 35 in the left lane." My Mommy is a very good driver, and she definitely wasn't swerving, erratically or otherwise.

I'm getting tired of being in the car. It would be so bad except Spanky is in a really bad mood. He's always yelling and he's mad at Mommy. We're almost to California, though. Tonight we're in Utah and tomorrow we'll be in someplace called Vegas. Hopefully Spanky and Mommy won't get in another fight. Spanky thinks he'd win, but I'm not so sure. :/

She Lied!

2008-09-07T21:04:00.004-07:00

A "Valium" is exactly like an automobile. She only told me we'd be traveling by "Valium" to lure me into a false sense of complacency. Needless to say that this trip has not gone well thus far. If it were not for my readers, I would discontinue writing this blog simply to spite Jennifer.

The first evening was made at least minimally tolerable by a visit to my old stomping grounds outside of Lansing. Unfortunatly, at what I am sure was that woman's doing, I was confined to a room for the duration of our stay. She made no attempt to hide her guilt with an excuse, saying that I would "run off" if I was left to roam free. Would such an action be surprising give the circumstances? The next day found us all trapped in a automobile for several hours at a stretch. And to add insult to injury, when I objected to this state of affairs, she had the audacity to threaten to lock me in my cat carrier!

I will admit that today went slightly better than the previous two, something that I am sure I have my human, Jason, to thank for. He arranged for Jennifer to drive the automobile while he and I shared a seat. He listened to my concerns quite attentively and explained that Jennifer is determined to go to California via automobile and we both know how she can be when she is in that state. He was able to arrange for me to ride more comfortably, and I was finally able to take a brief rest. I have decided to carry on as best I can under these distressing circumstances.

We're on Our Way!

2008-09-06T21:15:00.003-07:00

Short post tonight, everyone. I am soooooo tired. After my person and a bunch of other people put all of our stuff on a truck, we all went to Spanky's old house. Spanky said that it used to be TGWWGA's house, too. I figured we were going to drop them both off there, but no luck. TGWWGA is still with us. :(

Tonight we are all in Illinois. Spanky has been in a bad mood all day. Something about "this valium being exactly like a car." Edmund is kind of scared, but he's kind of scared of everything, so I'm not too worried. I will write a better post tomorrow when I'm not so tired. Moving is hard work!

I Certainly Have My Work Cut Out for Me

2008-09-03T21:41:00.003-07:00

While I stated in a previous post that it is unnecessary for the feline members of the household to concern themselves with moving preparations, I was ill-prepared for the amount of chaos that my humans could cause while packing. Look at that mess! I am afraid that I have had to take them firmly in hand and personally supervise the remainder of the process. I am getting ahead of myself, however. I shall begin at the beginning.

On Sunday night we were joined by Jennifer's mother, a charming woman named Bethanie. It appears that Jennifer must have inherited her head-strong nature from her father as I found Bethanie most agreeable. But I digress. All three humans quickly got to work packing. Things started off quite well as Bethanie and Jennifer brought in boxes and assorted other supplies, and Jason set up shop on the couch preparing his toy soldiers for departure.

That should have been my first clue that something was amiss. Anything that involves his soldiers (which he calls by the preposterous name of "Warhammer Forty Kay"), invariably consumes a great deal of space and makes a dreadful mess. Jennifer and Bethanie quickly added to the chaos by moving things around, stacking boxes in odd places, and creating a great racket by rustling papers and taping boxes closed.

I found a vantage point from which I could survey the scene and quickly came to the conclusion that my organizational powers were desperately needed. I found that it was necessary to make frequent inspections of the humans' progress as well as giving them clear, detailed instructions. I am proud to say, however, that I have been rewarded for my efforts. The packing has continued, but the chaos has largely been contained.

Jennifer has just informed me that Bethanie and my old chum Bob (Jason's father) will be joining us tomorrow to finish preparing for our departure. I fear that, with this many humans about, things will quickly get out of hand again. A feline's work is never done.

Boxes!!!!

2008-09-02T21:32:00.005-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. I've been super-busy. My Mommy and a Nice Lady have been packing up all of our stuff and I've been helping. That's me making sure that the box is strong enough to hold Mommy's stuff.

The Nice Lady came to visit us for a few days to help Mommy. I like when she visits because she lets me sit on her lap and she scratches my ears. She didn't let me sleep on her feet, though. :( The Nice Lady and Mommy worked really hard, but Mommy says there's still lots to do. There's more than just my food dish to pack. She has to pack my food, the chair I like to sleep on, the laundry I like to sleep on, Spanky's bed, our toys... lots of stuff!

Mommy is too busy packing to play with me as much, but that's okay because playing in boxes is lots of fun! Dante and I spent all day jumping in and out of boxes and exploring box mazes. Plus there's all this crinkly paper laying around that's fun to play pounce with. Dante says he saw a box of little foam bits, but Mommy moved it and we haven't found it again. I hope we do. Foam bits in a box would be super-fun!

Please Inform me When my "Valium" is Ready

2008-08-28T11:11:00.003-07:00

I see that my housemate, Dante, has been relating his experiences with the process of packing up our belongings. He appears to be enjoying himself which is why I have refrained from mentioning that he is expending effort unnecessarily. It has been my experience that when humans decide to change domiciles, the best thing for the feline members of the household to do is to take a nap. Let the humans bustle about preparing their belongings for transportation; it was their decision to change dwellings after all. I have moved with Jason on previous occasions and let me assure you that he is quite adept at seeing to my needs. Since we will be traveling by "Valium" instead of by automobile, I see no need to concern myself with the moving arrangements.

I did get quite a chuckle out of Dante's photograph of himself inside of a moving container, especially since he confided to me that he entered it voluntarily. I am afraid that sometimes his enthusiasm for exploration gets the better of him. I have spent many years convincing Jason, and later Jennifer, that cats simply do not belong in boxes. I had to be quite insistent about it, even going so far as to create something of a fuss when such a procedure was attempted. I appear to have finally broken my humans of that bad habit, however, as it has been some time since they attempted to confine me within a cat carrier.

At any rate, I am confidant that once they are doing preparing for our departure, they will know where to locate me.

Oh Hai

2008-08-27T20:57:00.003-07:00

Packing up kitties is hard work, especially when you don't have opposable thumbs. My person has it easy. She really needs to stop complaining. Anyway, I'm too tried to post much today (that's me taking it easy). Instead you should check out this site cause it has lots of cat pictures on it: http://lolcats.com/

My person says I should warn you that not all of the pictures are "safe for work." Whatever that means. She was pretty insistent about it. *rolls eyes.* Humans.

l8r

I'm Done with My Packing

2008-08-26T23:01:00.004-07:00

So my person's been packing up all of our stuff. She's pretty good at it, probably because she has opposable thumbs. Humans always seem really impressed with themselves cause they have opposable thumbs, but if you ask me, they go to waste half the time. If I had opposable thumbs I wouldn't be putting stuff in boxes, I'd go get some wet food and some catnip.

Anyway, I've pretty much staying out of her way but the other day I heard her tell TGWWGA that she better not be the only one packing stuff up. I figured it was only a matter of time until she starts in on us. She's a decent person and everything but she can really get on your case about helping out around the house. I decided I should get ready to go before she started giving me a hard time about it.

I don't know why she complains about packing. I was done in no time. I even picked a box that had an ear-scratching hole cause I'm thoughtful like that. Now that I'm ready to go, I don't know what the hold up is. What else could she possibly need in California? Well, I guess she needs to put my food dish in a box and probably Edmund too. She better not be using those opposable thumbs to pack up TGWWGA's stuff instead of scratching my ears.

A Bit of Background

2008-08-25T10:14:00.003-07:00

Now that the cats have all introduced themselves, I thought some background information about the move might be in order. Spanky, Dante, and Edmund are moving because Jennifer (that's me) has been accepted to the Ph.D. program at the University of California, Riverside. We will be rolling out in a little less than 2 weeks and we will arrive in California about a week later. There is still lots of packing to do (not to mention loading the truck) so I'm sure the cats will have more thoughts to share before the trip.

I hope you enjoy reading this blog and feel free to post in the comment section; the cats tell me they love reading them. :)

Introduction

2008-08-24T17:35:00.005-07:00

Hello and welcome to the blog "To Say Nothing of the Cat." Jennifer has requested that I participate in this blog in order to share my reflections of our upcoming transcontinental trek. She also threatened to pack me in one of the boxes if I failed to comply.

Allow me to take a few moments to introduce myself. My full name is Percy Sheldon Montgomery, but my friends call me Spanky; a nickname bestowed upon me by my human, Jason, when I was but a kitten. I lived with Jason and his family for many years prior to joining him and Jennifer in their new home. My relationship with Jennifer has been contentious on occasion as we are both very determined individuals. Recently, however, we have come to an understanding of sorts and are now able to peaceably cohabitate.

In addition to the humans, I also share my home with two other felines. Dante can occasionally be tiresome, but he is young and high-spirited and will likely settle down as he matures. Edmund is a fun-loving kitten who I think looks up to me as something of an older brother. He can be a tad anxious and prone to worrying about minor thing, but I hope that through my example he learns to face the world more confidently.

It is my understanding that we will be traveling by automobile on this journey. I sincerely hope this is not the case as I detest them. When I inquired of Jennifer regarding our method of transportation, she reassured me that all would be well. Apparently we are traveling by means of something called "Valium." She declined to elaborate on what a "Valium" was but assured me that I would be most comfortable on our trip.

I look forward to sharing this trip with all of you.

Introduction

2008-08-24T16:06:00.004-07:00

Hi! My name is Edmund and I am a cat. I live with my Mommy, Dante, Spanky and the Monster in a house in Ohio. Really! A monster! A very scary one! Dante doesn't like him either. Spanky will sit right next to him, though. He says that the Monster isn't scary at all and if I didn't hide under the bed every time the Monster came home I'd get my ears scratched. I usually trust what Spanky says, but not when it comes to the Monster. He can't eat me if I'm under the bed. *nod nod nod*

Mommy says I should stop talking about the Monster and introduce myself. :p

I really like the house we live in because it has my food dish and nice places to sleep. We won't be living in Ohio much longer, though, because we are going to move to someplace called California. My Mommy says not to be nervous about moving, but I am not nervous at all. I am a brave kitty! Well, I'm a brave kitty when there's no Monster. Monsters don't go to California, right?

Spanky is my big brother and he takes care of me. He lets me sleep on him sometimes and helps make sure my fur is nice and pretty. Dante and I are BFFs (that means Best Friends Forever). That's a picture of us up there. I'm the grey one. :) Dante and I play together all the time. We play chase. We play pounce. We play sleep on Mommy's homework. My Mommy is the best! She feeds me and plays with me and scratches my tummy. She won't let me have any of Dante's wet food, though. I don't know why. Maybe she doesn't see me sitting right where the plate with the food on it goes? Maybe I need to frolic more while she's doing it...

I hope you like my blog!

My Mommy also says that if I meow all the way to California, I will have something to be nervous about. O.o

Introduction

2008-08-24T13:25:00.005-07:00

Hey. My person says I should introduce myself to everyone. *shrugs* If it’s that big of deal…

My name is Dante and live in Ohio with my person, 2 other cats (Edmund and Spanky), and That Guy Who Won't Go Away (TGWWGA). Ohio’s okay, I guess. There are birds outside the window to watch and my person is here to scratch my ears. We won’t be living here much longer because we’re moving to someplace called California. My person wants me to write about the move and everything. Something about “sharing the experience with friends and family.” *rolls eyes* You know how humans can be. She gives me wet food twice a day, though, so I guess I can do this blog-thing if that's what she really wants.

Oh, right, introductions. I am 4 years old and I've lived with my person since I was a kitten. That's a picture of us up at the top. You can look at my profile pic to find out what I look like now. Edmund and I are best friends. A lot of people say he’s a scaredy-cat, but he’s always up for a game of chase and tackle so I can’t complain. Spanky and I are not cool. He always takes TGWWGA 's side and he thinks he’s smarter than me.

I’m pretty excited about this move to California. My person says there will be birds there and I’m hoping that the birds will be inside the house instead of outside like they are now. That would be pretty cool. I wonder if TGWWGA is coming with us? I hope not.

Well, I hope you all enjoy reading this blog. I think Spanky and Edmund are going to post too. It should be pretty interesting.